Even today, many females don't understand male sexuality. So this article is for women – especially women who can sometimes find it hard to understand what makes men 'tick' sexually.
But men will also find it useful to read what follows.
Male sex drive
It can be enormously difficult for women to understand just how powerful the average man's sex drive is.
Although males vary a lot on how keen on sex they are, the average man does tend to be much more 'driven' sexually than the average women is. (This applies to gay men as well as to straight guys – but in fact this article just deals with heterosexual males.)
In 2005, one of Britain's top sex experts claimed to the media that in general, men are on a 'five day cycle' where sex is concerned (ie wanting to make love every five days) – whereas women are more likely to be on a '10 day cycle'.
But it's also true to say that plenty of males – particularly young and virile ones – would really like to have sex every day – and maybe more often than that.
Indeed, in the era of anti-impotence drugs, such as Viagra, we have actually seen middle-aged men who had been using these medicines to have sexual encounters with three different women in a single day. This is pretty crazy behaviour, but it does offer an insight into male sexuality…
Nature's programming
One of the reasons why the human race has survived for hundreds of thousands of years is the fact that nature has 'programmed' men to be mad keen on penetrating women – and getting sperm into them.That may not sound very nice, but it's the truth. The primary sexual objective of a human male is to get his penis inside a woman – and to discharge his sperm into her.
And even though many guys succeed in being faithful to their partners, the scientific truth is that males are really 'programmed' to inseminate as many attractive females as possible.
So the fact of the matter is that the human race has survived in the main because primitive men went round fertilising a lot of women – thus ensuring the continuance of the species.
Your man today
But let's bring it up to date. What about your man today?Well, it should be the case that recent centuries of civilisation have had an effect on him – so that he does not try to impregnate every nice-looking woman he meets.
Nonetheless, the following are fairly safe assumptions:
- your man is very keen on sex
- he thinks about it a lot – much more often than you do
- however romantic and gentle he may be, deep down one of his major objectives in life is to get his penis inside you
- and once it's in there, he has a deep, driving 'biological imperative' to reach a climax – and ejaculate into you.
Oral and rectal sex
So ingrained is this instinct to impregnate a woman that many men appear keen to accept any available female orifice – even if it's not the vagina.That's why a very high proportion of men desire oral sex and a substantial minority (and it does still appear to be a minority) are keen on anal sex.
Conclusion
So, the average male is more interested in sex than the average female and is much more likely to:- feel very strong urges to have intercourse
- take sexual risks, regardless of the consequences
- be unfaithful
- try 'commercial' (ie paid for) sex
- feel extremely unhappy and disaffected with life if he is not having regular sex with a partner
- feel desolate if a woman he loves rejects his sexual advances.
Indeed, the slightest thing can set a man off – for instance:
- the sight of a woman's cleavage
- noticing a bottom that has a shape that appeals to him
- seeing a good pair of legs
- getting even a whiff of perfume.
The sight of somebody’s cleavage may perhaps give him an erection (particularly if he is young). But that doesn’t mean that he feels he has to leap on the woman and have sex with her.
However, it can help women to understand their men if they are aware of just how driven males can be, where sexuality is concerned.
Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist and Christine Webber, psychotherapist
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